When is it too much already?

In the previous blog posts, I have written about the government and the Church’s take on the legalization of Divorce in the Philippines. I have not yet discussed on when to say if it is too much already? From a woman’s point of view, unfaithfulness and abuse is a number one trigger to divorce one’s husband. Abuse may come in three forms, physical, verbal or emotional. It may be physical from beating up a wife or a husband to actually murdering one’s spouse, to verbal; like shouting or uttering rude things to one’s spouse. Troubles may occur in any marriage, misunderstanding and unfaithfulness occurs probably because of the length of time being together or solely the attitude of a person. Once is always enough when it comes to abuse. No one has the right to abuse another person because it is a part of human rights that people should be given safety from abuse, and from danger. People should live with the security of being safe from danger. When it comes to relationships, abuse is already a trigger to lean towards separation or high precaution whenever both are together. Verbal abuse, meanwhile, leads to emotional abuse. An example of which is shouting, cursing and uttering rude and “below the belt” comments about one another. An emotional abuse, on the other hand, is when a person is affected emotionally because of wrong doing such as unfaithfulness, “cold treatment” or misunderstandings. All of these will result to further damage in a relationship and the like.

                Most of the relationships I know that ended abruptly are mainly because of unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness to a spouse is a grave and immoral thing when it comes to dealing with the sacrament of matrimony. An example of a vow is:

“ I, ____, take you, ____, to be my (husband/wife). I promise to be true to you in good times and in bad, in sickness and in health. I will love you and honor you all the days of my life. I, ____, take you, ____, for my lawful (husband/wife), to have and to hold, from this day forward, for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death do us part."

There is a presence of a “promise” to love each other and be faithful to each other. Breaking one’s vows means breaking the marriage that will eventually lead (in most cases) to divorce. Divorce does not have any boundaries when it comes to reasoning. Most couples lean towards divorce in order to make their lives better and make things a lot tolerable in their lives. It is much different when it comes to divorce with kids because there is an issue of custody. This makes the couple fight even more that will eventually lead to the signage of papers. Divorce is a contract between two people who are in dire need of separation from each other and the lives that they used to live in.

Sources:

Marriage Vows. Retrieved June 12,2011 from Wikipedia in http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Marriage_vows#Traditional_Roman_Catholic_vows