A Wrap Up

Technically speaking, divorce by definition nullifies marriage. For me, it defeats the purpose of getting married. In a wider sense, I do not approve of divorce because there is annulment and I believe it is enough if marriage is not working between the couple. Divorce would be the primary hindrance in promoting family values. The problem is women and children are constantly getting abused, so if that is the case, will separation be enough? I believe if we really want to end the problem regarding abuses, we should rather penalize the wrong actions. But most of all, uplifting morals and values would be the long term key towards this problem.

According to my interviewee, divorce nullifies the whole sanctity of marriage. It completely eradicates the people’s values and it makes people vulnerable for the fact that it makes people lax that there will always be a way out of a marriage, by this; divorce is foreseen as a solution to every marriage problem there is present. I believe that the sanctity of marriage should be kept, but what about those people who are in an abusive relationship? Will we let him or her be stuck in a marriage she/he is not happy in? I strongly believe that marriage makes the world go round. It is the happiness to both couples ( at least for starters). And it completely sacrifices the single lives of both couples. This single life is more often than not missed by both of them, that is why there is a presence of a little bit of resentment. I believe that it has been the case ever since marriage and commitment is invented. Commitment is a big thing and as cliché as it may possibly sound, commitment is big responsibility. It does entail having a big responsibility because it makes use of commitment and love with one another.

            In my poll that I have posted here in my blogger site, 83 % said yes to divorce while 16 % said no to divorce. This only says that no matter what race or what religion, it will always be human nature to be self-greedy, to think about oneself first before others. Divorce, though, is not being greedy, it is being safe and it is giving you a new chance to live life the way you want to live it. I believe that divorce is a life yet to be lived by those who need it, not by those who want it. There is always a fine line between needs and wants, by now you should have known the pros and cons of divorce. What do you think? Do you think it is a need or a want? Do you think it is morality or pure personal will and greed? I continue to stand firm on my belief that divorce is a choice not an obligation. It is a form of help not the sole solution. It is the epitome of freedom in a sense of necessity. Divorce is pro-choice, pro-chances and pro-change. 

Fireproof

When it comes to divorce, I remember this one movie entitled “Fireproof”. This is an inspiring movie if you’re against divorce. This is one of my favorite movie because it shows many lessons in life, especially when it comes to divorce. I like this movie because I am against divorce. The plot of this movie is simple but very helpful. There’s this fireman who is a very hardworking and responsible man who loves to save lives of others. On the other hand, his wife is full of his husband working and not anymore showing his love to her through the years of their marriage. As days go, they were just fighting about non-sense and this is because they don’t listen to each other. Then one day, his wife filed a divorce to him. When he got the files for the divorce, he talked to his parents on what he’ll do to win her back. His parents, specially his dad, helped him and gave him a book on how to save your marriage. In this book, it has directions on what you do for the next forty days so that you can win her back. On the first few days, he tried it and got negative results. Because this happened, he didn’t want to finish the book, but when his father knew about it, he convinces him to still read the book and do whatever the book says. So he again started to read the book. By the day twenty and so on, he was happy because his wife was responding to him, but not that really great. So he just continued doing it until the last day. On the 40^th day, they got back together. This is heartwarming because in the end of the movie, the book that he read was the book read by his father when his father and mother were getting a divorce.  It is inspiring because he didn’t give up when his wife filed divorce against him. He fought for it. For me, when it comes to relationship, you shouldn’t just give up. You have to fight for it so that in the end, love will fight for you and you don’t need to file a divorce to your partner. Also, divorce is just a headache to you and your partner. First, you will spend a lot of money for the divorce to happen. Second, it will take a lot of time for you and your partner to be divorced. Third, if you have a family, you will just destroy it. Fourth, it will just ruin the future of your kids, if the couple has one.  Lastly, you will just hurt each other physically, mentally and emotionally. For me, you just need to continue to love each other so that there will be no filing of divorce happen. If there will be a time when your feelings are fading away, you just need to go back to where you started. Like try courting your partner again by doing new things and things that you haven’t done before. 

Divorce Forum

Divorce is a controversial issue ever since it was mentioned in the Philippine Congress. It was 1991, when Representative Manuel C. Ortega filed the House Bill No. 6993 to endorse the divorce to be legal in the Philippines. In 2001, similar matter was filed by Senator Rodolfo G. Biazon and Bellaflor J. Angara-Castillo under Senate Bill no. 782 and House Bill no. 878, respectively. Then, in 2005 party-list representative Liza Masa of Gabriela also filed a divorce bill and filed it again during the 14^th congress under House Bill no. 3461 to introduce divorce in the Philippines.

Today, DIVORCE has been HOT TOPIC not only inside the congress but also throughout the Philippines especially in the rural areas. There are different opinions coming out that categorizing the supporters and non-supporters of the said bill. Even the government officials have different opinions regarding the House Bill no. 3461.

Divorce has been discussed in the Philippine congress and is currently being taken up by the government to implement this law to make life easier for the society. A lot of personalities in the government are solely against the idea of divorce is the Philippines. One of which is Manny Pacquiao.

While, Saranggani Representative Manny Pacquiao took his stand to not support the bill echoing the opinion of Catholic Bishops.

For the non-supporters of the bill, marriage is not only a legal union but also a sacred union between the man and woman bless by God. These two persons institute themselves as partner for their whole life and promise not to separate whatever happens. But for the supporters, there are unhappy marriages all over the Philippines. These marriages are not working so why not end it. So, divorce is the only option for them.

Manny Pacquiao has been against the RH Bill and now also the divorce bill. He says that he is for the moral aspect of these bills. For divorce, he says that two persons are two persons as one for their whole lives. The sanctity of marriage should be given respect to and should be given much attention to by the government and the party that wanted this bill to be implemented. I believe that Manny Pacquiao is correct when he said that marriage should have sanctity but what about those people who have this anger towards their marriage? What about those people who have grudges and who are abused physically and emotionally by their spouse? I believe that this has been the case ever since. It is important for government to take the opinions of the people in order for them to have an insight on how the people themselves view divorce. I believe that it is best for people to tell the government their opinions and insights about divorce whether or not they are for or against it. I believe divorce has been there ever since and it is just waiting for the Philippines to take it in. Divorce is fighting for ones rights. Divorce is freedom of speech and freedom of choice.

http://thewutzup.com/2011/06/21/divorce-in-the-philippines/

To live does not always mean you're alive

If we legalize divorce in the philippines just because there are a lot of broken marriage nowadays i don't think that's a valid reason. When you and your spouse decided to get married that's because you're very in love with each other and that you're willing to accept commitment for the rest of your lives. During wedding you've answered big YES to all the question of the priest and that you're there for your spouse through sickness and in health just to name a few. Having problems like going to different trials,financial problems, miscommunication,etc., it's normal for that to happen in your marriage life and DIVORCE is definitely not the solution for this. It's about standing up and never give up, you've started it then you should finish it.
http://www.biliranisland.com/forum/showthread.php?1184-Should-DIVORCE-be-legalized-in-the-Philippines

According to Bill, divorce is not a solution for the Filipino people. Filipinos who want to legalize divorce should think twice before voting so because the whole point of marriage is being together forever and being able to adapt and to fix whatever that is happening between the couple. The whole point of marriage is it is a holy sacrament that enables couples to live their lives as one and to build a peaceful relationship with each other. That is why people are given their whole starting life to discover life, most people are bound to get married and to have a family of their own. Some people, though, are bound to live life alone like those who are living a chaste life. People are bound to be servants of Christ and servants of life. Life should always come first and marriage is part of life. Marriage is like life that you have to take care of it in order for you to make the right decisions in life and the right ways to live it. Life is marriage and marriage is life. When you get married, that should be your life. Marriage should always come first and people should try to live life the way they want to. Life is always what you make it and marriage is what you make it. Life is marriage and marriage should be given importance to because it simply brings the best out of people. Marriage is the key to a better life because it helps a person mature and it helps a person become himself in terms of way of living and the perception in life. I believe that life is a prize from God, but to live, for some people, does not mean they’re alive. People usually take charge of their lives but they do not make the right decisions. People should try to make their own decisions and stand up for what they believe in. There is always a freedom of speech and a freedom to say what you think. There are also human rights and women’s rights to guide you as you journey through life. These rights will pave the way to your final decision and to the way you live life. Sometimes divorce can be a choice for you, divorce is a choice—a good one at that.

Women and Divorce

I could not believe my ears when a friend told me that she was opposed to having divorce in the Philippines. I was bewildered. After all, her husband had left her for a younger woman years ago. He had since lived with the woman and their common children as though his primary responsibility was to them.

When my friend’s husband abandoned her, she was left alone to feed, raise their three children and send them to school. She bore the weight of parenthood alone, working double time until every one of her children had finished a degree. Despite the passing of years, bitterness in her voice is still perceptible when the subject of her marriage is touched. She has not filed any legal action to nullify their marriage; or to legally separate from him. She also has not filed a criminal case for concubinage which would have been easy for her to prove considering her husband’s open relationship with the other woman.

When I asked her if she did not want to move on, she said that in her on way she has moved on. She has been able to live without him; learned not to expect anything from him; and is enjoying the company of her their children all by herself. If she obtained a declaration of nullity of marriage, she said, it would be like rewarding her husband for his despicable irresponsibility and infidelity, she added. She is advocating against the passing of a divorce law in the Philippines, saying that women who are in a miserable marriage have enough options under our laws, citing the availability of petitioning for a declaration of nullity of marriage, or annulment of voidable marriages, or legal separation.

               

                This woman is a result of an abusive marriage. An abusive marriage happens when a husband is unfaithful or physically abusive. In this case, the husband left her for another woman. She then, chooses to raise her kids alone and not depend on her husband; even still, she is against divorce. She said that women have enough rights. I’d have to disagree with this statement. Women have rights but it can never be enough. Women are usually the victims of marriage oppression and abuse. I have concluded that some women are made to be martyrs. Some women give all the pain and suffering to them and they do not think of themselves. This is where divorce kicks in; divorce may help these women to be free and to be out of harm. I believe that women have the potential to fight for their rights and to fight for what they believe in. Women tend to tolerate suffering in a relationship because they give importance to love more than themselves. Love is more important for them to keep the family intact. I believe that women are capable of loving and also living their life the way they want to live it. I believe that women should fight for their rights because they have the capability to do so. 

Prevention is cure

"Do you take this man or this woman to be your husband or your wife till death due you part? That is the question you are asked during your marriage vows. But in the back of your mind were you thinking, sure I take this person. But if it doesn't work I'll file for a divorce and get on with my life?

If that thought was in the back of your mind, you are not alone. It must be in the back of some couple's minds because 50 to 60% of today's newlyweds will divorce. Why?

I have chosen 3 areas to focus on from the article in the article “Top Reasons Why People Divorce” in Yahoo!

1.       Poor communication

This is one of the cases wherein a couple does not speak to each other or is not fully open to the idea of communicating their feelings to each other. This is when couples feel obliged to update each other with their feelings and what has been happening with their lives individually. Everything is much like a contract with each other and every conversation feels dragging as ever. Poor communication results to a contracted relationship not a real one.

2.       Change in priorities.

There was a change in priorities because of having kids, having jobs and the priority now is family based not individual based or couple based. The issue on having different priorities is very much important because it gives the couple a sense of freedom or maybe a sense of pride. With different priorities, there are different reactions to it. Priorities are supposed to be balanced. It should not be one sided. It has to be two sided or even sometimes multiple divided. A couple should learn balance their family needs, their relationship and their social life. There should be diversity and there should be flexibility. I believe that it takes a lot of time to adapt to this kind of relationship. Almost all married lives have different issues to live with every day, it’s just a matter of dealing with it before it even begins to get worse.

3.       Physical, emotional and/or sexual abuse.

Emotionally or sexually is still abuse in any perspective. I believe that in any way to look upon it, it is still abuse in many different ways. I believe that nobody has the right to be abusive to other people not unless it is for self-defense. Any form of abuse is liable to imprisonment and it is against the law and the teachings of the Church.

I believe that every person has the responsibility to be liable to their own actions. They should be aware of the consequences. As they say, prevention is always the cure. To prevent is to cure, to prevent is to be sure. Prevent pervasive issues such as miscommunication and the like in order to become happy and in order to become the people you would want to be in a relationship. I believe that this can make every marriage happy.

The Remedy

The bill seeks to introduce divorce in Philippine law with a strong sense of confidence that it will be used responsibly by Filipino couples. This confidence stems from the experiences of Filipino families that show that separation is usually the last resort of many Filipino couples whose marriage has failed. Cases of battered women also support this. Battered women invariably seek separation only after many years of trying to make the marriage work; separation only becomes imperative for them when they realize that it is necessary for their and their children’s survival. Divorce could actually provide protection to battered women and their children from further violence and abuse. With the predominance of the Catholic faith in the Philippines, the fear that divorce will erode personal values on marriage appears unfounded. The experience of Italy, where the Vatican is located, and Spain, two predominantly Catholic countries which practice divorce, supports this. Those countries have a low rate of divorce. Italy registers a 7% rate while Spain registers 15%. The figures reflect the strong influence of religious beliefs and culture on individuals in deciding to terminate marital relations.

This bill is respectful of and sensitive to differing religious beliefs in the Philippines. It recognizes that the plurality of religious beliefs and cultural sensibilities in the Philippines demand that different remedies for failed marriages should be made available.

The Remedy is Divorce. The congress believes that the Filipino people will use this law responsibly and in accordance to the law. The figures shown above reflect the strong influence of religious beliefs to terminate marital relations. This makes people hesitant to accept the divorce bill fully because they think that it is a preposterous law that will make Filipino people lax. But what happens when the divorce bill is implemented? There will be freedom and it will pave the way to second chances. I believe that this law enables people to be independent and accepting to their own actions and responsibilities. If they believe divorce is wrong, then so be it. If they decide to result to divorce, that’s okay as well. It does not matter but what I’m saying is that Divorce may be a remedy to those women or men who are in an abusive marriage (of course, men won’t admit that they are being abused by their wives. That’s purely gender hierarchy mentality) I believe that divorce is a liaison to the sickness of society which is tolerance. Filipino people tend to tolerate anything and everything that affects them personally or truly makes them weak. I believe that everything has a reason and the reason to result to divorce should be fairly reasonable. As redundant as it may possibly sound, I believe that this is always the case. Couples should have a fair reason for resulting to Divorce because they will simply either regret it or not. Divorce should be a choice not an obligation and most definitely not a hasty decision. It must be thought about thoroughly and must be mutual. It has to be, or else it won’t be a remedy, but a sickness. 

Divorce is the epitome of freedom

Divorce is the epitome of freedom in a way that if this law is legalized, the society breaks away from the chains of the traditional way of doing things. The society is led to a brighter light and the society is made to believe that Divorce will fix the problems of abusive marriages and it will make life easier for couples who cannot be in the same house as each other anymore. Those couples are usually the ones who are undergoing a lot of stress in the household and those who have irresolvable problems that occur between each other. I believe that the Divorce Law will make women more empowered. They will be more confident, they will be happier, they will learn to fight back—they will, indeed, have freedom in their hands. I believe that this freedom will make the Filipino people more open to new chances and realities in life. Reality wise, there are and will always be abusive marriages. There will be marriages that can break you as a person. Husbands always are the suspects and the wives are usually the victims. Women fight for the legalization of divorce because they simply want to have a new life. Women want to have a new life and a better life and they want to have a life that they deserve. Women are usually the victims because women are perceived to be weak and women usually cannot fight back. Obviously women are not like that. This is the stereotype that women get because this is what society has casted upon them. This is a sign that women should be more empowered to fight for their rights and to fight for what they believe in. Women should know that life is not the way society casts upon them, women should be aware that life is not about toleration, it is about rights and laws that support these rights. I believe that the appeal for divorce should be a part of women’s rights. Women should become more open and women should be fighters-- Fighters for a new life and a more meaningful one.

                Divorce is the epitome of freedom and free-will. Divorce should be legalized because it simply makes life easier and because it makes life a bit more tolerable. It is the epitome of free-will because it is a very pro-choice law (excluding the teachings of the Church and religious beliefs) every one of us is entitled to their own free will-- Free will in a way that it is solely the person’s choice to either result to divorce or not. Free will is given to people through this bill because people are not obliged to divorce their husbands or wives. I believe that divorce should be implemented because it is simply pro-choice. It is a way of giving oneself another chance to be happy. It is also the epitome of euphoria. It results to euphoria. It can give women who are in an abusive relationship another chance to live life the way they want to.

Taking A Look at the Alternative

A girl named Marita was rushed to the hospital because of violent beatings from her husband. She wanted to result to annulment but she said that she will return to her husband “for the kids”. This violent beating was a cyclical process in Marita’s everyday life. No separated from her husband who almost had killed her, she wants to start a new life with her and her children, to start a new home and to be happily married again.

Annulment only allows a legal separation through a legal settlement. This will not allow any of the parties to remarry. This completely eradicates the idea of marriage and it makes people stuck, still, in their abusive marriages.

“…according to the Philippine National Police Women’s Desk, have been increasing in recent years: from 1,100 cases in 1996 to over 6,500 in 2005, almost a six-fold increase. Of VAW cases filed from 2001 to 2007, domestic violence comprised 76.2 percent. The perpetrators were mostly the victims’ husbands.” (2011, Philippine National Police Women’s Desk)

This just shows that women are beaten up and are victims of domestic violence. This is the case in almost all the marriages that are abusive in the Philippines. These are the propositions in legal separation or nullity of marriage.

1. Legal separation, which allows the couple to separate on the basis of repeated violence and physical abuse, sexual infidelity, conviction of a criminal offense with a penalty of more than six years, and abandonment. But this option does not allow the couple to re-marry and requires that they maintain fidelity. So individuals legally separated from their spouses should not have any sexual relations, lest they be charged with concubinage or adultery.

2. Declaration of nullity of marriage declares a marriage void from the very beginning. Children in this type of marriage are considered illegitimate. This legal option is available to minors who married without parental consent and those who were married by an unauthorized person. Bigamous marriages, mistaken identity, and incestuous marriages may also be declared void from the very beginning.

3. An annulment declares the marriage legal until it is declared void. This legal option is available to minors married without parental consent and to individuals who may have been of unsound mind at the time of the marriage. Couples married under deceitful circumstances such as the failure to inform the other party of a sexually transmitted disease, a pregnancy involving another man, criminal conviction, addiction, impotence, or homosexuality may also file for annulment. Article 36 of the Family Code states that a marriage can be declared void if one of the parties is psychologically incapacitated to perform his or her marital obligations. This has often been used by couples seeking a way out of marriages and is sometimes dubbed as the “Philippine de facto divorce law.”

Annulment is just a legal separation and does not allow women to have a right to be happily remarried. This completely rejects the idea of new life-- divorce does.

Divorce: An orchestrated war against the Filipino family.

The church authorities called Divorce as a “orchestrated war against the Filipino family.”

Oscar V. Cruz, a retired archbishop who is now the leading church voice against the bill, said Filipino Catholics should not be ashamed that they are global holdouts on divorce.

“That is a distinction that we should all be very proud of,” Archbishop Cruz said. “It says that we are not one of those who believe the family can be destroyed.”

Even with the greater attention to the Philippines’ isolation on this issue after the Malta vote, the bill is not expected to be approved soon. Catholic leaders have vowed to campaign hard against it. Opponents in Congress say they will fight it all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary. Rufus Rodriguez, a conservative congressman, called the bill unconstitutional and divorce unnecessary.

                Obviously, the sanctity of family in the Philippines is given much importance to by the Church authorities and some of the personalities in the government. The church says that it this distinction between other countries who actually legalized divorce is something to be proud of. Divorce is war against the family. It is a war that is to be fought by those who are against the divorce bill and those who are fighting for it. This is a constant battle between the Church and the Gabriela party that is being discussed almost every day by the media. It is much like a constant battle between the good and the bad. The good ones are supposed to be the Church authorities and the bad ones are the Gabriela party people. That’s how society perceives it, that’s how society is. Society dictates to us what not to do and what we should do. This has been the case ever since democracy was born, but people have the choice to follow or not to follow. Ever since the Spaniards went here to supposedly make life better for the ancient Filipino people, they pushed religion to us. They have acquired the Filipino people’s trust and made them pray to a higher power named God. They made us Bible believers and up until now, it has been part of our tradition ever since. I am very altruistic when it comes to the welfare of other people. In this case, Divorce has been passed on by a group of women because of their own reasonable terms. As a woman, it is possible to get into an abusive relationship and men are bound to be the one who abuses and the woman is the victim. This crime can only lead to two things, divorce or toleration. Women tend to tolerate things, but when pushed further and further that’s when they will flip. Women have rights as well, and the government is always on call when it comes to women’s rights.

                The Philippines is concerned of their image as the only Vatican country that is against the idea of divorce, this very detrimental for those women who are involved in an abusive, unfaithful marriage.

                

Matthew 5:32

For those who cannot separate church from law, please know that divorce is in the Bible. It is allowed. But only for one reason: "marital unfaithfulness" or sexual immorality.

But the Bible also says that just because you're divorced doesn't mean you can marry again, as these verses testify: 

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (NIV)
Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (NIV)

            This is a very interesting passage from the bible. Divorce is not allowed but if one of the couple is unfaithful, legal separation is allowed. But the issue of marriage is not fully accepted by the Christian beliefs. With this passage found in one of the e-forums about divorce online, we can already tackle the issue of the Church against divorce. The Church thinks that it is not Christian to accept Divorce in our society, much like abortion and the use of contraceptives. Divorce is a dreadful thing because it goes against the bible and its teachings. What have we have here, we have a passage that completely contradicts their idea! Just as long as one of the couple is unfaithful, it is considered to be adultery and it is considered to be reasonable for turning to Divorce. Upon having an idea that God “allows” divorce as long as there is a valid reason, it completely contradicts the teachings of the Church in a way that the nullity of marriage that went through the holy sacrament of matrimony, is a grave sin. This grave sin will then bring people to hell. There is a big problem in knowing what is morally accepted or what is morally right. In this passage, divorce because of unfaithfulness Is morally accepted, but for the church it is morally wrong, or simply immoral. Morality is such a vague thing to tackle for it concerns a person’s own perception what morality is. Sometimes it makes people abusive of their power to decide for themselves, or sometimes people may take things like morality for granted. In the Philippines, the legalization of divorce is a huge thing because it completely breaks the status quo. It completely eradicates Christian beliefs and it completely destroys the sacrament of matrimony. This makes the Church panic for they have tried their very best to keep the Philippines anti-divorce, and now, women and men are actually considering divorce to be implemented in the society. This makes them react violently simply because they have firmly believed in their own moral conceptions and the Bible. What they don’t know is that there is such passage that completely contradicts their belief as a believer in God. Will this help them consider divorce or will these further fuel negative reactions from the Church?

            Divorce as cliché is it may possible sound is pro-choice. Again, it solely depends on the person if he or she will turn to divorce. The Church should just be a guidance on the values of Filipinos, not a hindrance for the Filipino people to discover life itself.

 

The Holy Bible: A guidance or a hindrance?

For those who cannot separate church from law, please know that divorce is in the Bible. It is allowed. But only for one reason: "marital unfaithfulness" or sexual immorality.

But the Bible also says that just because you're divorced doesn't mean you can marry again, as these verses testify: 

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (NIV)
Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (NIV)

                This is a very interesting passage from the bible. Divorce is not allowed but if one of the couple is unfaithful, legal separation is allowed. But the issue of marriage is not fully accepted by the Christian beliefs. With this passage found in one of the e-forums about divorce online, we can already tackle the issue of the Church against divorce. The Church thinks that it is not Christian to accept Divorce in our society, much like abortion and the use of contraceptives. Divorce is a dreadful thing because it goes against the bible and its teachings. What have we have here, we have a passage that completely contradicts their idea! Just as long as one of the couple is unfaithful, it is considered to be adultery and it is considered to be reasonable for turning to Divorce. In our present society, it has always been the case that divorce is a dreaded thing and the Filipino government have not been considering divorce to be legalized not until Malta had agreed to legalize divorce in their country. In the bible, it is clearly not like that, there is a reason for divorce and the one and only reason for divorce is unfaithfulness.

The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this “exception clause” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness” during the “betrothal” period. In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged or “betrothed.” According to this view, immorality during this “betrothal” period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

                This is the only phrase we can hang on to. If you are pro-divorce, you are most probably connected to this passage. People tend to overanalyze the Bible when in fact, we should be living based on what we believe in. the Bible, for me, should just serve as a guidance, not a hindrance. Some people tend to take the passages literally, and are not open to the hidden meanings of the words that are written in this holy book. People should be more open and should turn to the bible for guidance not considers it to be a hindrance, because if a person considers it to be a hindrance, this completely destroys the idea of FAITH. Faith is being faithful to God and being faithful, as well, to what you believe in.

 

Contentment vs. Commitment

Life is simple and should not be made complicated. Contentment is the key to happiness. So why stick with the boring way of life you have when in fact, you have the choice to make it far better and different, the option to be happy and satisfied?

            The reason why I quoted this is because I strongly agree in this statement. This statement encapsulates everything that I have ever wanted to say. Contentment is the key to happiness and sometimes commitment gets in the way of contentment. Commitment is such a strong word. It pertains to a forever binding of oneself to another human being, or in some cases it may be for an organization or a company. In the case of divorce, it is a lifelong commitment that has to be sanctified by the sacrament of the Church called matrimony. At first, couples are usually happy and are on a “marriage-high” but soon as time kicks in and it starts to get complicated than it ever was, the couple starts to fights and misunderstandings begin. These misunderstandings are often led to divorce. After having a divorce, there is peace and rest for both parties. Life is simple and should not be made complicated. If the complicated one is the marriage, why not turn to divorce, for it will make things and will make life easier to bear. Every person is entitled to their own opinion and their own belief. In this case, every 

person has every right to divorce.

            The Philippines is a country wherein divorce is often discussed to as immoral or unchristian. But reality hurts, the Philippines actually need a Divorce Bill in order for them to realize that they are free beings and that this country is purely democratic. I believe that divorce can make life much easier because it ends every suffering for every human being. This suffering often leads to further damage in a relationship and is often misleading for the children (if ever there are any). This is a very eye opening experience that a couple who are going through a rough relationship should definitely consider. Divorce is often viewed upon as jeopardizing Christian values. I strongly disagree because the government is simply trying to reach out to those couples that are in a rough marriage and giving them an option whether or not to turn to divorce. The Divorce Bill is pro-choice and it allows people to have a second chance in life. It makes people worthy of living the live they want to live. It makes people stronger as individuals for they have weathered their own storm in life. It makes me sad for a fact that people nowadays are often very close minded towards this issue. They usually reject the fact that this will help other people very much. Some people are very selfish because they would reject something that might benefit other people but will not at all affect them. People should be more open to possibilities and towards change.

http://www.thoughts.com/janecarag888/pro-divorce/

Like A Chameleon

A home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety.

The realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had.

Deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem.

These three are some pro points in divorce. The first part of getting divorced is that you will feel very depressed and very much regretting what you have done. This is a feeling of loathe towards one’s ex husband and the feeling of insecurity for everyone who have attended your wedding. This is a feeling of hopelessness and there is a presence of guilt and agony. The next step after the mourning stage is A home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety. You get to build a better home with your children (if there are any) and wit yourself. You get to live in peace and not to worry about everything that is around you. You get to be free, free from stress and anxiety. You get to be free from everything that may be emotionally harassing and you will then discover the realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had. You will discover that you are strong for going through a crisis as such. You will realize how much of a person you are and how much better you deserve. This will make you realize that this crisis is an opening for change and for repent. You will make your life a lot better by being open to changes and by being open to the wonders of life. Life is all about making choices and these choices determine who you are so do not regret what you have chosen to be or what situation you choose to be in, be thankful for you have the opportunity to change everything that has been bothering you for the past few years of living. Psychologically speaking, you get to think that you are a strong person and you are the kind of person that does not bring him/herself down. Because of this, you will be able to determine deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem. Your new found self esteem will be very useful in the future. You will be able to learn that you are a better person without your shaky marriage and you will remain strong and faithful to your decision to live alone and to put yourself first amidst everything that has happened in your marriage that may be very dragging and agonizing.

                These are the wonders in life, the ability of a person to cope up with the situation and the ability of a person to adapt to his/her nature eventually. We are like chameleons who change colors everytime there is an outside force that attacks us for our benefit. We are strong beings and we deserve the best in life. Always remember that divorce will not put you down, for it will make things better for you and your life.

source: http://www.lifeafteryourdivorce.com/benefits-of-divorce-recovery-coaching/the-pros-of-divorce/

A Very Interesting Comparison

Adam and Eve were given a choice whether or not to eat the forbidden fruit. God forbade them to eat the fruit from the Tree of Life. Adam was hesitant, while Eve was clearly willing to eat the fruit. Even went ahead and ate the fruit, she then, convinced Adam to do so as well. Adam ate the fruit as well, and they were banished from the Kingdom of God.

               

                             This summarized tale of Adam and Eve is found in Genesis, the beginning of the extinction of man. This has been the case in the Old Testament. Clearly, they were both given the choice and the free will to decide for them whether they will do so or not. They chose to eat the fruit, and this has caused man to sin. Why am I saying all these? As a comparison, the forbidden fruit is the Divorce bill, whereas Adam is the husband, eve is the wife, and God is God himself. In our society during the present times, the women are the ones who are willing and who are convincing the masses to eat the forbidden fruit or, in this case, to legalize divorce in the Philippines. What’s odd is that it is truly applicable and truly comparable to the story of Adam and Eve. In the story God stands as the Church and the strong belief in banishment from the Kingdom once a couple commits sin. The “sin” that was being talked about is Divorce. If Eve did not eat the forbidden fruit, man would not be extinct right now, she has fuelled the evolution of man and man’s original sin or we can look upon it as man’s urge to discover life. As of right now, the society views divorce as a moral sin, a grave sin that is not meant to be legalized because of the strong beliefs of the Church. The Church believes in the sanctity of marriage and of all of its sacraments. The Church believes that if a couple results to divorce; they will be committing a moral sin and will be punished for it for the rest of their lives. For the rest of their lives, they will suffer and they will be “banished” from the Church and from the Kingdom of God (figuratively).

               

                        I myself am against divorce, but upon looking at different comments of people and through personal friends that are going through a tough marriage (some of them are forced into it, actually) I have thought about it and I think that Divorce is a very pro-choice law. It solely depends on the couple if they will result to Divorce in order to fix their problems. It is merely a use of the man’s ability to discover the world as a big picture that is meant to be analyzed and to be interpreted. God, in the end, forgave Adam and Eve, this is the case in all of the stories in the Bible. There is a presence of forgiveness. Of course, man should not be lax because there is always forgiveness, what I am saying is that God loves each and everyone of us and I believe that it is only the Church who dictates to us what is exactly in the Bible, but our relationship with God is more than just written messages from the old and new testament, it is all about forgiveness and all about choice and being a good servant of God.

Opinionated

The Parent Trap

When I was still a little girl I always used to watch Parent Trap. Before, it was just like any ordinary movie for me. Now, I already see the hidden message in it.

Parent Trap was made in 1998 and it is all about Identical twins Hallie and Annie who were separated at birth when their parents divorced. After the two meet at summer camp, they begin plotting to reunite their estranged parents. The Parent Trap (1998) is a remake of the 1961 family film of the same name. It was directed and co-written by Nancy Meyers, and produced and co-written by Charles Shyer. It starsDennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson as a couple who divorce soon after marrying, and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role as their twin daughters, who are accidentally reunited after being separated at birth. They did an amazing job in doing so because after everything that has happened to their parents, they still were able to reunite them and remarry them, in that case. Annie and Hallie were both affected and were harassed emotionally because one of them lives with their mom and the other one live with their dad. Annie did not have a father figure, while Hallie did not have a mother figure to guide them to a life that they deserve. They are both well off but they do not have the proper guidance through their teenage years and such. Hallie was brought up to be a down to earth kind of person, while Annie was brought up to be a very sophisticated girl. They were both experiencing entering teenage life not knowing that they have a twin. When they found out that they had a twin, they were both angry yet thankful at the same time. They were plotting their parents’ reunification in order for them to be together for the rest of their lives.

            What is the connection of this to divorce in the Philippines? The Philippines is a very religious country and a very overpopulated one, at that. This shows how divorce can completely change the lives of the kids and the couple. The couple was shown as a couple who were both having difficulties before and so they have decided to separate legally and for the rest of time. The dad found another woman and the mom stayed single. Both of their kids tried to rekindle their parents’ love for each other and so they plotted a plan to separate the other woman and their dad and making their dad meet their mom again in order to fall in love once more. At first, there was rejection but in the end they realized that they loved each other very much and that they want to be with each other for the rest of their lives.

            Annie and Hallie represents the kids who are going through their parents’ divorce. They have a certain longing to reunite their parents and it affects them emotionally.

            Should divorce be really implemented? Or should the Philippines stay the same way for the sake 

 of children who need their proper guidance for the future?

Sources:

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120783/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Parent_Trap_(1998_film)

Asian Correspondent's Take on Divorce

It is bound to be another one contentious bill, but let me just say that I myself is in favor of the bill. (It’s) very difficult to let the people who cannot continue to live together.

              

  I have concluded upon reading different reactions from people that divorce is an accepted form of freedom in the Philippines. The Gabriela party has proposed that this bill should be pro-choice not obliged to those who are unhappily married. It is indeed very difficult to continue to live together in an unhappy marriage. When having an unhappy marriage, the couple is clearly forced to be with each other and in the moment of lack of love and toleration, there is the presence of divorce. Divorce is such as strong statement, it legally and permanently breaks the bonds of a couple. It is a choice given to human beings as to which is makes human beings more free and problem-free.

The divorce bill is expected to attract stiff opposition from the ultra-conservative members of the Catholic Church, perhaps as vociferous as their criticism of the Reproductive Health Bill.

Saranggani Rep. Manny Pacquiao has taken a conservative stand on both bills, echoing the sentiments of the Catholic bishops. So far, only the Vatican City and the Philippines are left in the list of states that disallow or prohibit divorce. A third one, Malta, removed itself from the list after citizens voted for divorce in a referendum.

The House Speaker’s public statement of support for the divorce bill should result in speedy proceedings and serve as a signal to the Members of Congress he leads.

House Bill 1799 An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines

                Manny Pacquiao is opposed of the bills that are proposed against the beliefs of the Catholic Church. A lot of Filipinos are still opposed especially those who are very conservative and very much against going against the beliefs of the Catholic Church. As discussed in my previous post, the Philippines is known to be a very God loving country, and this truly affects the overall decision of the Church and of the congress. This makes it harder to legalize divorce because a lot of people are truly against the fact of going against marriage. Divorce is meant to be a choice for couples who are going through a tough marriage and who are keeping up a tough exterior but in reality, they are very weak and they have very strong sentiments against their own marriage. This will make it harder for those who have kids, though. Their lives will be more complicated and this will make them more rebellious and more angry. This will ruin a married life, and will ruin the lives of the people involved. Divorce can either make you or break you. It can break you in a way that it can manipulate you into getting a divorce with your spouse or it can make you by giving you a new life to live, starting from scratch.

                Divorce should be implemented in the Philippines, but there has to be limitations.

               

 SOURCE http://asiancorrespondent.com/56199/philippines-congress-to-start-work-on-divorce-bill/ 

People Power

It’s time to move forward into the modern era and away from medieval times. It’s time to give women more 

protection, empowerment and a better chance of having a happier and more fulfilling married life.

                   It’s time to legalize divorce. Filipino women are fighting for this bill ever since the idea of freedom from abusive marriages occurred. In fact, the government is pushing through with almost legalizing the bill but something is stopping them from doing so, and this powerful authority is the Church. I, honestly, have nothing against the Church’s beliefs because I am a Christian. Born and raised to be God’s faithful servant, but this time I’m looking at life into a more positive note than moral hindrances. I am opening my eyes to the reality of abusive marriages, unfaithful spouses and reoccurring misunderstandings that often lead to fights and chaos on the household. More often than not, Filipinos usually are hindered from doing what they want because of this moral guidance from the Church. Again, I have nothing against the moral beliefs of the Church; I am just considering possibilities. Filipinos are jailed inside a cage that is really misleading as a human being. They say that these moral hindrances are the Church’s way of guiding the Filipino people into a better light, yes of course, we are living in a very democratic nation and guidance is highly needed, but look at this situation in a different angle. How can Filipinos possibly discover things that are not meant to be discovered (as the Church says so and so is the government, in some cases) if there are hindrances? Laws like no killing, no stealing and such are laws that should be implemented in the society and are meant to be so, but the Divorce Bill should also be considered by the Church because it may serve as guidance and betterment for the lives of the masses. It may not be as pricey as annulment but divorce may be more than annulment itself.

Let us not fool ourselves and turn a blind eye to the sad fact that many marriages in the Philippines are not successful and in most cases, the wives in these damaged marriages are still prisoners living in suffering, pain and sometimes in fear of their own lives.

            I honestly dream of a better society, an ideal one. The one that is free from hindrances to live life to the fullest, the one that breaks the traditional ways apart, and the one that is completely modernized. That is my opinion, per se, but different people have different opinions, modernized in a way that it is not scared to legalize laws that can be of help to the Filipino people. This is a very democratic country and the power is in the hands of the people living in it. I honestly think that people have the authority, not the government or the Church but the power relies on the people and the way they take in things like the Divorce Bill. 

Source: http://jrocas.com.ph/archives/legalize-divorce-in-the-philippines-support-hb-1799/

Another angle to look upon divorce

The country's influential Catholic Church had thwarted all previous attempts, but the women pushing for this latest divorce legislation say prospects of it being accepted are better this time. ... Under the Philippines Family Code, only annulment restores a married couple to single status, allowing each to remarry. 

            The Philippine Catholic Church has been rejecting all kinds of propositions about divorce. Men usually are the ones who want divorce, but in the Philippines, it’s the women who want this bill to be legalized. This has been how they are ever since there has been a proposition about divorce. It is very unlikely because women usually think the other way around, which is forever and they usually believe in working things out. It makes me wonder how the women think nowadays. Maybe they’re traumatized? Maybe they’re scared? Maybe they are slapped by reality, reality that men are more liberated in a way that there is only little chance to find a man who can love unconditionally. It is unlikely to find a man who is faithful, who does not look at other women, and who does not abuse a relationship. Women are scared that they might be trapped in a marriage that is very abusive and very emotion consuming.

It's interesting that the Catholic church would oppose the legalization of divorce. Do they sincerely think that non-Catholics in the Philippines should be bound by Catholic doctrine? Perhaps American Catholics should ask their priests what they think about it — are the Catholic leaders in the Philippines wrong or not? Would the Catholic church support making divorce illegal in other places, like America? 

            One good point was raised in this forum which is should Catholics be bound by Catholic doctrine? Catholics should keep their values intact at the same time they should be living their lives the way they want it to be. Why is it that society dictates to us what to do? The Philippines is a Catholic country and is a very religious country which has been consistently using their values as a way of living their lives and they are greatly influenced by the Church.

It is ironic that the Roman Catholic prelates have a say in marriage, a practise which they abhor and do not practise. What do they really know about marriage? Are they in any position to have a say in the matter? Hypocrites!

            This is a very good point by a man named Manny Aquino in the forum. He said that people who work for the Church is a part of a calling and one of which is chastity. Chastity is not participating in the holy sacrament of matrimony. They do not know a thing about marriage. They do not know anything about how marriage works, so how can they dictate to people what should be happening and what should they do about their lives? They never had any chance to experience marriage problems that is why they do not have a say on this bill.

            The divorce bill should be legalized. I am for freedom and I am for pro-choice.

                 Source: http://atheism.about.com/b/2005/05/23/divorce-in-the-philippines.htm