Women and Divorce

I could not believe my ears when a friend told me that she was opposed to having divorce in the Philippines. I was bewildered. After all, her husband had left her for a younger woman years ago. He had since lived with the woman and their common children as though his primary responsibility was to them.

When my friend’s husband abandoned her, she was left alone to feed, raise their three children and send them to school. She bore the weight of parenthood alone, working double time until every one of her children had finished a degree. Despite the passing of years, bitterness in her voice is still perceptible when the subject of her marriage is touched. She has not filed any legal action to nullify their marriage; or to legally separate from him. She also has not filed a criminal case for concubinage which would have been easy for her to prove considering her husband’s open relationship with the other woman.

When I asked her if she did not want to move on, she said that in her on way she has moved on. She has been able to live without him; learned not to expect anything from him; and is enjoying the company of her their children all by herself. If she obtained a declaration of nullity of marriage, she said, it would be like rewarding her husband for his despicable irresponsibility and infidelity, she added. She is advocating against the passing of a divorce law in the Philippines, saying that women who are in a miserable marriage have enough options under our laws, citing the availability of petitioning for a declaration of nullity of marriage, or annulment of voidable marriages, or legal separation.

               

                This woman is a result of an abusive marriage. An abusive marriage happens when a husband is unfaithful or physically abusive. In this case, the husband left her for another woman. She then, chooses to raise her kids alone and not depend on her husband; even still, she is against divorce. She said that women have enough rights. I’d have to disagree with this statement. Women have rights but it can never be enough. Women are usually the victims of marriage oppression and abuse. I have concluded that some women are made to be martyrs. Some women give all the pain and suffering to them and they do not think of themselves. This is where divorce kicks in; divorce may help these women to be free and to be out of harm. I believe that women have the potential to fight for their rights and to fight for what they believe in. Women tend to tolerate suffering in a relationship because they give importance to love more than themselves. Love is more important for them to keep the family intact. I believe that women are capable of loving and also living their life the way they want to live it. I believe that women should fight for their rights because they have the capability to do so.