Divorce is the epitome of freedom

Divorce is the epitome of freedom in a way that if this law is legalized, the society breaks away from the chains of the traditional way of doing things. The society is led to a brighter light and the society is made to believe that Divorce will fix the problems of abusive marriages and it will make life easier for couples who cannot be in the same house as each other anymore. Those couples are usually the ones who are undergoing a lot of stress in the household and those who have irresolvable problems that occur between each other. I believe that the Divorce Law will make women more empowered. They will be more confident, they will be happier, they will learn to fight back—they will, indeed, have freedom in their hands. I believe that this freedom will make the Filipino people more open to new chances and realities in life. Reality wise, there are and will always be abusive marriages. There will be marriages that can break you as a person. Husbands always are the suspects and the wives are usually the victims. Women fight for the legalization of divorce because they simply want to have a new life. Women want to have a new life and a better life and they want to have a life that they deserve. Women are usually the victims because women are perceived to be weak and women usually cannot fight back. Obviously women are not like that. This is the stereotype that women get because this is what society has casted upon them. This is a sign that women should be more empowered to fight for their rights and to fight for what they believe in. Women should know that life is not the way society casts upon them, women should be aware that life is not about toleration, it is about rights and laws that support these rights. I believe that the appeal for divorce should be a part of women’s rights. Women should become more open and women should be fighters-- Fighters for a new life and a more meaningful one.

                Divorce is the epitome of freedom and free-will. Divorce should be legalized because it simply makes life easier and because it makes life a bit more tolerable. It is the epitome of free-will because it is a very pro-choice law (excluding the teachings of the Church and religious beliefs) every one of us is entitled to their own free will-- Free will in a way that it is solely the person’s choice to either result to divorce or not. Free will is given to people through this bill because people are not obliged to divorce their husbands or wives. I believe that divorce should be implemented because it is simply pro-choice. It is a way of giving oneself another chance to be happy. It is also the epitome of euphoria. It results to euphoria. It can give women who are in an abusive relationship another chance to live life the way they want to.

Taking A Look at the Alternative

A girl named Marita was rushed to the hospital because of violent beatings from her husband. She wanted to result to annulment but she said that she will return to her husband “for the kids”. This violent beating was a cyclical process in Marita’s everyday life. No separated from her husband who almost had killed her, she wants to start a new life with her and her children, to start a new home and to be happily married again.

Annulment only allows a legal separation through a legal settlement. This will not allow any of the parties to remarry. This completely eradicates the idea of marriage and it makes people stuck, still, in their abusive marriages.

“…according to the Philippine National Police Women’s Desk, have been increasing in recent years: from 1,100 cases in 1996 to over 6,500 in 2005, almost a six-fold increase. Of VAW cases filed from 2001 to 2007, domestic violence comprised 76.2 percent. The perpetrators were mostly the victims’ husbands.” (2011, Philippine National Police Women’s Desk)

This just shows that women are beaten up and are victims of domestic violence. This is the case in almost all the marriages that are abusive in the Philippines. These are the propositions in legal separation or nullity of marriage.

1. Legal separation, which allows the couple to separate on the basis of repeated violence and physical abuse, sexual infidelity, conviction of a criminal offense with a penalty of more than six years, and abandonment. But this option does not allow the couple to re-marry and requires that they maintain fidelity. So individuals legally separated from their spouses should not have any sexual relations, lest they be charged with concubinage or adultery.

2. Declaration of nullity of marriage declares a marriage void from the very beginning. Children in this type of marriage are considered illegitimate. This legal option is available to minors who married without parental consent and those who were married by an unauthorized person. Bigamous marriages, mistaken identity, and incestuous marriages may also be declared void from the very beginning.

3. An annulment declares the marriage legal until it is declared void. This legal option is available to minors married without parental consent and to individuals who may have been of unsound mind at the time of the marriage. Couples married under deceitful circumstances such as the failure to inform the other party of a sexually transmitted disease, a pregnancy involving another man, criminal conviction, addiction, impotence, or homosexuality may also file for annulment. Article 36 of the Family Code states that a marriage can be declared void if one of the parties is psychologically incapacitated to perform his or her marital obligations. This has often been used by couples seeking a way out of marriages and is sometimes dubbed as the “Philippine de facto divorce law.”

Annulment is just a legal separation and does not allow women to have a right to be happily remarried. This completely rejects the idea of new life-- divorce does.

Divorce: An orchestrated war against the Filipino family.

The church authorities called Divorce as a “orchestrated war against the Filipino family.”

Oscar V. Cruz, a retired archbishop who is now the leading church voice against the bill, said Filipino Catholics should not be ashamed that they are global holdouts on divorce.

“That is a distinction that we should all be very proud of,” Archbishop Cruz said. “It says that we are not one of those who believe the family can be destroyed.”

Even with the greater attention to the Philippines’ isolation on this issue after the Malta vote, the bill is not expected to be approved soon. Catholic leaders have vowed to campaign hard against it. Opponents in Congress say they will fight it all the way to the Supreme Court if necessary. Rufus Rodriguez, a conservative congressman, called the bill unconstitutional and divorce unnecessary.

                Obviously, the sanctity of family in the Philippines is given much importance to by the Church authorities and some of the personalities in the government. The church says that it this distinction between other countries who actually legalized divorce is something to be proud of. Divorce is war against the family. It is a war that is to be fought by those who are against the divorce bill and those who are fighting for it. This is a constant battle between the Church and the Gabriela party that is being discussed almost every day by the media. It is much like a constant battle between the good and the bad. The good ones are supposed to be the Church authorities and the bad ones are the Gabriela party people. That’s how society perceives it, that’s how society is. Society dictates to us what not to do and what we should do. This has been the case ever since democracy was born, but people have the choice to follow or not to follow. Ever since the Spaniards went here to supposedly make life better for the ancient Filipino people, they pushed religion to us. They have acquired the Filipino people’s trust and made them pray to a higher power named God. They made us Bible believers and up until now, it has been part of our tradition ever since. I am very altruistic when it comes to the welfare of other people. In this case, Divorce has been passed on by a group of women because of their own reasonable terms. As a woman, it is possible to get into an abusive relationship and men are bound to be the one who abuses and the woman is the victim. This crime can only lead to two things, divorce or toleration. Women tend to tolerate things, but when pushed further and further that’s when they will flip. Women have rights as well, and the government is always on call when it comes to women’s rights.

                The Philippines is concerned of their image as the only Vatican country that is against the idea of divorce, this very detrimental for those women who are involved in an abusive, unfaithful marriage.

                

Matthew 5:32

For those who cannot separate church from law, please know that divorce is in the Bible. It is allowed. But only for one reason: "marital unfaithfulness" or sexual immorality.

But the Bible also says that just because you're divorced doesn't mean you can marry again, as these verses testify: 

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (NIV)
Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (NIV)

            This is a very interesting passage from the bible. Divorce is not allowed but if one of the couple is unfaithful, legal separation is allowed. But the issue of marriage is not fully accepted by the Christian beliefs. With this passage found in one of the e-forums about divorce online, we can already tackle the issue of the Church against divorce. The Church thinks that it is not Christian to accept Divorce in our society, much like abortion and the use of contraceptives. Divorce is a dreadful thing because it goes against the bible and its teachings. What have we have here, we have a passage that completely contradicts their idea! Just as long as one of the couple is unfaithful, it is considered to be adultery and it is considered to be reasonable for turning to Divorce. Upon having an idea that God “allows” divorce as long as there is a valid reason, it completely contradicts the teachings of the Church in a way that the nullity of marriage that went through the holy sacrament of matrimony, is a grave sin. This grave sin will then bring people to hell. There is a big problem in knowing what is morally accepted or what is morally right. In this passage, divorce because of unfaithfulness Is morally accepted, but for the church it is morally wrong, or simply immoral. Morality is such a vague thing to tackle for it concerns a person’s own perception what morality is. Sometimes it makes people abusive of their power to decide for themselves, or sometimes people may take things like morality for granted. In the Philippines, the legalization of divorce is a huge thing because it completely breaks the status quo. It completely eradicates Christian beliefs and it completely destroys the sacrament of matrimony. This makes the Church panic for they have tried their very best to keep the Philippines anti-divorce, and now, women and men are actually considering divorce to be implemented in the society. This makes them react violently simply because they have firmly believed in their own moral conceptions and the Bible. What they don’t know is that there is such passage that completely contradicts their belief as a believer in God. Will this help them consider divorce or will these further fuel negative reactions from the Church?

            Divorce as cliché is it may possible sound is pro-choice. Again, it solely depends on the person if he or she will turn to divorce. The Church should just be a guidance on the values of Filipinos, not a hindrance for the Filipino people to discover life itself.

 

The Holy Bible: A guidance or a hindrance?

For those who cannot separate church from law, please know that divorce is in the Bible. It is allowed. But only for one reason: "marital unfaithfulness" or sexual immorality.

But the Bible also says that just because you're divorced doesn't mean you can marry again, as these verses testify: 

Matthew 5:32 But I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, causes her to become an adulteress, and anyone who marries the divorced woman commits adultery. (NIV)
Matthew 19:9 I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for marital unfaithfulness, and marries another woman commits adultery. (NIV)

                This is a very interesting passage from the bible. Divorce is not allowed but if one of the couple is unfaithful, legal separation is allowed. But the issue of marriage is not fully accepted by the Christian beliefs. With this passage found in one of the e-forums about divorce online, we can already tackle the issue of the Church against divorce. The Church thinks that it is not Christian to accept Divorce in our society, much like abortion and the use of contraceptives. Divorce is a dreadful thing because it goes against the bible and its teachings. What have we have here, we have a passage that completely contradicts their idea! Just as long as one of the couple is unfaithful, it is considered to be adultery and it is considered to be reasonable for turning to Divorce. In our present society, it has always been the case that divorce is a dreaded thing and the Filipino government have not been considering divorce to be legalized not until Malta had agreed to legalize divorce in their country. In the bible, it is clearly not like that, there is a reason for divorce and the one and only reason for divorce is unfaithfulness.

The phrase “except for marital unfaithfulness” is the only thing in Scripture that possibly gives God’s permission for divorce and remarriage. Many interpreters understand this “exception clause” as referring to “marital unfaithfulness” during the “betrothal” period. In Jewish custom, a man and a woman were considered married even while they were still engaged or “betrothed.” According to this view, immorality during this “betrothal” period would then be the only valid reason for a divorce.

                This is the only phrase we can hang on to. If you are pro-divorce, you are most probably connected to this passage. People tend to overanalyze the Bible when in fact, we should be living based on what we believe in. the Bible, for me, should just serve as a guidance, not a hindrance. Some people tend to take the passages literally, and are not open to the hidden meanings of the words that are written in this holy book. People should be more open and should turn to the bible for guidance not considers it to be a hindrance, because if a person considers it to be a hindrance, this completely destroys the idea of FAITH. Faith is being faithful to God and being faithful, as well, to what you believe in.

 

Contentment vs. Commitment

Life is simple and should not be made complicated. Contentment is the key to happiness. So why stick with the boring way of life you have when in fact, you have the choice to make it far better and different, the option to be happy and satisfied?

            The reason why I quoted this is because I strongly agree in this statement. This statement encapsulates everything that I have ever wanted to say. Contentment is the key to happiness and sometimes commitment gets in the way of contentment. Commitment is such a strong word. It pertains to a forever binding of oneself to another human being, or in some cases it may be for an organization or a company. In the case of divorce, it is a lifelong commitment that has to be sanctified by the sacrament of the Church called matrimony. At first, couples are usually happy and are on a “marriage-high” but soon as time kicks in and it starts to get complicated than it ever was, the couple starts to fights and misunderstandings begin. These misunderstandings are often led to divorce. After having a divorce, there is peace and rest for both parties. Life is simple and should not be made complicated. If the complicated one is the marriage, why not turn to divorce, for it will make things and will make life easier to bear. Every person is entitled to their own opinion and their own belief. In this case, every 

person has every right to divorce.

            The Philippines is a country wherein divorce is often discussed to as immoral or unchristian. But reality hurts, the Philippines actually need a Divorce Bill in order for them to realize that they are free beings and that this country is purely democratic. I believe that divorce can make life much easier because it ends every suffering for every human being. This suffering often leads to further damage in a relationship and is often misleading for the children (if ever there are any). This is a very eye opening experience that a couple who are going through a rough relationship should definitely consider. Divorce is often viewed upon as jeopardizing Christian values. I strongly disagree because the government is simply trying to reach out to those couples that are in a rough marriage and giving them an option whether or not to turn to divorce. The Divorce Bill is pro-choice and it allows people to have a second chance in life. It makes people worthy of living the live they want to live. It makes people stronger as individuals for they have weathered their own storm in life. It makes me sad for a fact that people nowadays are often very close minded towards this issue. They usually reject the fact that this will help other people very much. Some people are very selfish because they would reject something that might benefit other people but will not at all affect them. People should be more open to possibilities and towards change.

http://www.thoughts.com/janecarag888/pro-divorce/

Like A Chameleon

A home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety.

The realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had.

Deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem.

These three are some pro points in divorce. The first part of getting divorced is that you will feel very depressed and very much regretting what you have done. This is a feeling of loathe towards one’s ex husband and the feeling of insecurity for everyone who have attended your wedding. This is a feeling of hopelessness and there is a presence of guilt and agony. The next step after the mourning stage is A home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety. You get to build a better home with your children (if there are any) and wit yourself. You get to live in peace and not to worry about everything that is around you. You get to be free, free from stress and anxiety. You get to be free from everything that may be emotionally harassing and you will then discover the realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had. You will discover that you are strong for going through a crisis as such. You will realize how much of a person you are and how much better you deserve. This will make you realize that this crisis is an opening for change and for repent. You will make your life a lot better by being open to changes and by being open to the wonders of life. Life is all about making choices and these choices determine who you are so do not regret what you have chosen to be or what situation you choose to be in, be thankful for you have the opportunity to change everything that has been bothering you for the past few years of living. Psychologically speaking, you get to think that you are a strong person and you are the kind of person that does not bring him/herself down. Because of this, you will be able to determine deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem. Your new found self esteem will be very useful in the future. You will be able to learn that you are a better person without your shaky marriage and you will remain strong and faithful to your decision to live alone and to put yourself first amidst everything that has happened in your marriage that may be very dragging and agonizing.

                These are the wonders in life, the ability of a person to cope up with the situation and the ability of a person to adapt to his/her nature eventually. We are like chameleons who change colors everytime there is an outside force that attacks us for our benefit. We are strong beings and we deserve the best in life. Always remember that divorce will not put you down, for it will make things better for you and your life.

source: http://www.lifeafteryourdivorce.com/benefits-of-divorce-recovery-coaching/the-pros-of-divorce/