Like A Chameleon

A home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety.

The realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had.

Deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem.

These three are some pro points in divorce. The first part of getting divorced is that you will feel very depressed and very much regretting what you have done. This is a feeling of loathe towards one’s ex husband and the feeling of insecurity for everyone who have attended your wedding. This is a feeling of hopelessness and there is a presence of guilt and agony. The next step after the mourning stage is A home that is not filled with constant envision and anxiety. You get to build a better home with your children (if there are any) and wit yourself. You get to live in peace and not to worry about everything that is around you. You get to be free, free from stress and anxiety. You get to be free from everything that may be emotionally harassing and you will then discover the realization that a crisis in life creates an opening for change that you might not have ever had. You will discover that you are strong for going through a crisis as such. You will realize how much of a person you are and how much better you deserve. This will make you realize that this crisis is an opening for change and for repent. You will make your life a lot better by being open to changes and by being open to the wonders of life. Life is all about making choices and these choices determine who you are so do not regret what you have chosen to be or what situation you choose to be in, be thankful for you have the opportunity to change everything that has been bothering you for the past few years of living. Psychologically speaking, you get to think that you are a strong person and you are the kind of person that does not bring him/herself down. Because of this, you will be able to determine deep lessons that have resulted in amazing personal growth with new found confidence and self-esteem. Your new found self esteem will be very useful in the future. You will be able to learn that you are a better person without your shaky marriage and you will remain strong and faithful to your decision to live alone and to put yourself first amidst everything that has happened in your marriage that may be very dragging and agonizing.

                These are the wonders in life, the ability of a person to cope up with the situation and the ability of a person to adapt to his/her nature eventually. We are like chameleons who change colors everytime there is an outside force that attacks us for our benefit. We are strong beings and we deserve the best in life. Always remember that divorce will not put you down, for it will make things better for you and your life.

source: http://www.lifeafteryourdivorce.com/benefits-of-divorce-recovery-coaching/the-pros-of-divorce/

A Very Interesting Comparison

Adam and Eve were given a choice whether or not to eat the forbidden fruit. God forbade them to eat the fruit from the Tree of Life. Adam was hesitant, while Eve was clearly willing to eat the fruit. Even went ahead and ate the fruit, she then, convinced Adam to do so as well. Adam ate the fruit as well, and they were banished from the Kingdom of God.

               

                             This summarized tale of Adam and Eve is found in Genesis, the beginning of the extinction of man. This has been the case in the Old Testament. Clearly, they were both given the choice and the free will to decide for them whether they will do so or not. They chose to eat the fruit, and this has caused man to sin. Why am I saying all these? As a comparison, the forbidden fruit is the Divorce bill, whereas Adam is the husband, eve is the wife, and God is God himself. In our society during the present times, the women are the ones who are willing and who are convincing the masses to eat the forbidden fruit or, in this case, to legalize divorce in the Philippines. What’s odd is that it is truly applicable and truly comparable to the story of Adam and Eve. In the story God stands as the Church and the strong belief in banishment from the Kingdom once a couple commits sin. The “sin” that was being talked about is Divorce. If Eve did not eat the forbidden fruit, man would not be extinct right now, she has fuelled the evolution of man and man’s original sin or we can look upon it as man’s urge to discover life. As of right now, the society views divorce as a moral sin, a grave sin that is not meant to be legalized because of the strong beliefs of the Church. The Church believes in the sanctity of marriage and of all of its sacraments. The Church believes that if a couple results to divorce; they will be committing a moral sin and will be punished for it for the rest of their lives. For the rest of their lives, they will suffer and they will be “banished” from the Church and from the Kingdom of God (figuratively).

               

                        I myself am against divorce, but upon looking at different comments of people and through personal friends that are going through a tough marriage (some of them are forced into it, actually) I have thought about it and I think that Divorce is a very pro-choice law. It solely depends on the couple if they will result to Divorce in order to fix their problems. It is merely a use of the man’s ability to discover the world as a big picture that is meant to be analyzed and to be interpreted. God, in the end, forgave Adam and Eve, this is the case in all of the stories in the Bible. There is a presence of forgiveness. Of course, man should not be lax because there is always forgiveness, what I am saying is that God loves each and everyone of us and I believe that it is only the Church who dictates to us what is exactly in the Bible, but our relationship with God is more than just written messages from the old and new testament, it is all about forgiveness and all about choice and being a good servant of God.

Opinionated

The Parent Trap

When I was still a little girl I always used to watch Parent Trap. Before, it was just like any ordinary movie for me. Now, I already see the hidden message in it.

Parent Trap was made in 1998 and it is all about Identical twins Hallie and Annie who were separated at birth when their parents divorced. After the two meet at summer camp, they begin plotting to reunite their estranged parents. The Parent Trap (1998) is a remake of the 1961 family film of the same name. It was directed and co-written by Nancy Meyers, and produced and co-written by Charles Shyer. It starsDennis Quaid and Natasha Richardson as a couple who divorce soon after marrying, and Lindsay Lohan in a dual role as their twin daughters, who are accidentally reunited after being separated at birth. They did an amazing job in doing so because after everything that has happened to their parents, they still were able to reunite them and remarry them, in that case. Annie and Hallie were both affected and were harassed emotionally because one of them lives with their mom and the other one live with their dad. Annie did not have a father figure, while Hallie did not have a mother figure to guide them to a life that they deserve. They are both well off but they do not have the proper guidance through their teenage years and such. Hallie was brought up to be a down to earth kind of person, while Annie was brought up to be a very sophisticated girl. They were both experiencing entering teenage life not knowing that they have a twin. When they found out that they had a twin, they were both angry yet thankful at the same time. They were plotting their parents’ reunification in order for them to be together for the rest of their lives.

            What is the connection of this to divorce in the Philippines? The Philippines is a very religious country and a very overpopulated one, at that. This shows how divorce can completely change the lives of the kids and the couple. The couple was shown as a couple who were both having difficulties before and so they have decided to separate legally and for the rest of time. The dad found another woman and the mom stayed single. Both of their kids tried to rekindle their parents’ love for each other and so they plotted a plan to separate the other woman and their dad and making their dad meet their mom again in order to fall in love once more. At first, there was rejection but in the end they realized that they loved each other very much and that they want to be with each other for the rest of their lives.

            Annie and Hallie represents the kids who are going through their parents’ divorce. They have a certain longing to reunite their parents and it affects them emotionally.

            Should divorce be really implemented? Or should the Philippines stay the same way for the sake 

 of children who need their proper guidance for the future?

Sources:

 http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120783/

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Parent_Trap_(1998_film)

Asian Correspondent's Take on Divorce

It is bound to be another one contentious bill, but let me just say that I myself is in favor of the bill. (It’s) very difficult to let the people who cannot continue to live together.

              

  I have concluded upon reading different reactions from people that divorce is an accepted form of freedom in the Philippines. The Gabriela party has proposed that this bill should be pro-choice not obliged to those who are unhappily married. It is indeed very difficult to continue to live together in an unhappy marriage. When having an unhappy marriage, the couple is clearly forced to be with each other and in the moment of lack of love and toleration, there is the presence of divorce. Divorce is such as strong statement, it legally and permanently breaks the bonds of a couple. It is a choice given to human beings as to which is makes human beings more free and problem-free.

The divorce bill is expected to attract stiff opposition from the ultra-conservative members of the Catholic Church, perhaps as vociferous as their criticism of the Reproductive Health Bill.

Saranggani Rep. Manny Pacquiao has taken a conservative stand on both bills, echoing the sentiments of the Catholic bishops. So far, only the Vatican City and the Philippines are left in the list of states that disallow or prohibit divorce. A third one, Malta, removed itself from the list after citizens voted for divorce in a referendum.

The House Speaker’s public statement of support for the divorce bill should result in speedy proceedings and serve as a signal to the Members of Congress he leads.

House Bill 1799 An Act Introducing Divorce in the Philippines

                Manny Pacquiao is opposed of the bills that are proposed against the beliefs of the Catholic Church. A lot of Filipinos are still opposed especially those who are very conservative and very much against going against the beliefs of the Catholic Church. As discussed in my previous post, the Philippines is known to be a very God loving country, and this truly affects the overall decision of the Church and of the congress. This makes it harder to legalize divorce because a lot of people are truly against the fact of going against marriage. Divorce is meant to be a choice for couples who are going through a tough marriage and who are keeping up a tough exterior but in reality, they are very weak and they have very strong sentiments against their own marriage. This will make it harder for those who have kids, though. Their lives will be more complicated and this will make them more rebellious and more angry. This will ruin a married life, and will ruin the lives of the people involved. Divorce can either make you or break you. It can break you in a way that it can manipulate you into getting a divorce with your spouse or it can make you by giving you a new life to live, starting from scratch.

                Divorce should be implemented in the Philippines, but there has to be limitations.

               

 SOURCE http://asiancorrespondent.com/56199/philippines-congress-to-start-work-on-divorce-bill/ 

People Power

It’s time to move forward into the modern era and away from medieval times. It’s time to give women more 

protection, empowerment and a better chance of having a happier and more fulfilling married life.

                   It’s time to legalize divorce. Filipino women are fighting for this bill ever since the idea of freedom from abusive marriages occurred. In fact, the government is pushing through with almost legalizing the bill but something is stopping them from doing so, and this powerful authority is the Church. I, honestly, have nothing against the Church’s beliefs because I am a Christian. Born and raised to be God’s faithful servant, but this time I’m looking at life into a more positive note than moral hindrances. I am opening my eyes to the reality of abusive marriages, unfaithful spouses and reoccurring misunderstandings that often lead to fights and chaos on the household. More often than not, Filipinos usually are hindered from doing what they want because of this moral guidance from the Church. Again, I have nothing against the moral beliefs of the Church; I am just considering possibilities. Filipinos are jailed inside a cage that is really misleading as a human being. They say that these moral hindrances are the Church’s way of guiding the Filipino people into a better light, yes of course, we are living in a very democratic nation and guidance is highly needed, but look at this situation in a different angle. How can Filipinos possibly discover things that are not meant to be discovered (as the Church says so and so is the government, in some cases) if there are hindrances? Laws like no killing, no stealing and such are laws that should be implemented in the society and are meant to be so, but the Divorce Bill should also be considered by the Church because it may serve as guidance and betterment for the lives of the masses. It may not be as pricey as annulment but divorce may be more than annulment itself.

Let us not fool ourselves and turn a blind eye to the sad fact that many marriages in the Philippines are not successful and in most cases, the wives in these damaged marriages are still prisoners living in suffering, pain and sometimes in fear of their own lives.

            I honestly dream of a better society, an ideal one. The one that is free from hindrances to live life to the fullest, the one that breaks the traditional ways apart, and the one that is completely modernized. That is my opinion, per se, but different people have different opinions, modernized in a way that it is not scared to legalize laws that can be of help to the Filipino people. This is a very democratic country and the power is in the hands of the people living in it. I honestly think that people have the authority, not the government or the Church but the power relies on the people and the way they take in things like the Divorce Bill. 

Source: http://jrocas.com.ph/archives/legalize-divorce-in-the-philippines-support-hb-1799/

Another angle to look upon divorce

The country's influential Catholic Church had thwarted all previous attempts, but the women pushing for this latest divorce legislation say prospects of it being accepted are better this time. ... Under the Philippines Family Code, only annulment restores a married couple to single status, allowing each to remarry. 

            The Philippine Catholic Church has been rejecting all kinds of propositions about divorce. Men usually are the ones who want divorce, but in the Philippines, it’s the women who want this bill to be legalized. This has been how they are ever since there has been a proposition about divorce. It is very unlikely because women usually think the other way around, which is forever and they usually believe in working things out. It makes me wonder how the women think nowadays. Maybe they’re traumatized? Maybe they’re scared? Maybe they are slapped by reality, reality that men are more liberated in a way that there is only little chance to find a man who can love unconditionally. It is unlikely to find a man who is faithful, who does not look at other women, and who does not abuse a relationship. Women are scared that they might be trapped in a marriage that is very abusive and very emotion consuming.

It's interesting that the Catholic church would oppose the legalization of divorce. Do they sincerely think that non-Catholics in the Philippines should be bound by Catholic doctrine? Perhaps American Catholics should ask their priests what they think about it — are the Catholic leaders in the Philippines wrong or not? Would the Catholic church support making divorce illegal in other places, like America? 

            One good point was raised in this forum which is should Catholics be bound by Catholic doctrine? Catholics should keep their values intact at the same time they should be living their lives the way they want it to be. Why is it that society dictates to us what to do? The Philippines is a Catholic country and is a very religious country which has been consistently using their values as a way of living their lives and they are greatly influenced by the Church.

It is ironic that the Roman Catholic prelates have a say in marriage, a practise which they abhor and do not practise. What do they really know about marriage? Are they in any position to have a say in the matter? Hypocrites!

            This is a very good point by a man named Manny Aquino in the forum. He said that people who work for the Church is a part of a calling and one of which is chastity. Chastity is not participating in the holy sacrament of matrimony. They do not know a thing about marriage. They do not know anything about how marriage works, so how can they dictate to people what should be happening and what should they do about their lives? They never had any chance to experience marriage problems that is why they do not have a say on this bill.

            The divorce bill should be legalized. I am for freedom and I am for pro-choice.

                 Source: http://atheism.about.com/b/2005/05/23/divorce-in-the-philippines.htm 

Own Opinions

Source:http://www.fnf.org.ph/talakayan/liberal_topic.php?id=420

Lois Abigail’s Open Forum

Divorce? Im definitely say YES! Now a days kasi there are many filipinos who can't afford to go under annulment, let's say a couple is seperated for almost seven years and they have their own way of living or should I say they have their own family and they want to be legally seperated. But they can't afford the annulment process... So for me divorce should be legalize.

i strongly agree with divorce. Annulment has the similar end result i don't understand why some disagree or justify not to legalize it here in the Philippines.some people are against it for we are catholic country family oriented and marriage is sacred - that's bs. isn't it life is more sacred than marriage. if couples hurt each other and kids are nurtured with violence wives are abused cheated and battered. would you still stay with so called "marriage". we are entitled to be free and happy.

I am in favor of divorce bill since I am also longing to end my suffering of living alone due to my wife who institued our marriage to be ended since she in abroad and not planning to comeback here in our country. People who disagree this bill not to be approved dont understand whats like to be separated and cannot move freely to be maaried to another woman and deserve to be happy and for sure you blind and selfess. Hope you guys who disaggree this bill wont be approved wont expercience the same thing as what I have felt rightnow thank you and good day to all of you.

These strong opinions came from anonymous writers in Lois Abigail’s Open Forum about legalization in the Philippines. They said that the annulment process take a lot of time, and a lot of money. If there is a divorce bill, it is much easier and cheaper to separate from an abusive marriage.

            One of them said that he/she wanted to end his/her suffering from his recent marriage because he/she was not treated right. Those people who are not for divorce are simply being selfish to their own beliefs and their own wants. Every person deserves to be happy and every person deserves a second chance. Those people who disagree does not understand what its like having a terrible marriage and an excruciating separation.

           

            The other writer did say specifically that divorce is much like annulment also, annulment taken to the next level. Divorce is like the solution to all the fuss there is in the annulment process. Life and happiness and more sacred than marriage, and everyone is entitled to be free and happy.

            Divorce is an option, not an obligation.